Always You

I have a theory. It's that we are pretty much who we're going to be at an early age. That's not to say that life experiences don't change us, or that we can't undertake change on our own. Stuff happens, our perspectives shift and we change.

But if you're born left-handed, you're probably going to stay left-handed for life.

The Internet is an unparalleled way to reconnect. I got this in my Classmates.com in-box:

"I don't know if you remember me from elementary [school], but I'll never forget you. I remember nervously walking into the school for the first time after I moved there at the beginning of the 3rd grade. Mrs. W (who scared me to death!) was showing me where the classroom was located -- it was early and hardly any kids had arrived yet. You walked up to me from the other end of the hall and struck up a conversation, and made me feel like I wasn't an outsider. I don't know if I ever thanked you, but I always appreciated that. You made my transition to a new school much easier."

I have to tell you, this email rocked me. Families tell stories of our youth, but they usually involve -- in my case -- where I made a complete and total fool of myself by saying or doing something incredibly dopey.

To hear a tale of my past, from an outside, objective observer is like watching a documentary of my life. No spin, no role-playing -- just a glimpse of who I was in third grade. Priceless.

And know what? I don't remember the woman who wrote me (I do remember the evil and wicked Mrs. W, our teacher. Still get the shivers mentioning her name). But a year or so after the incident my correspondent described, my family moved two thousand miles away and I haven't been back to that little town since. So in writing me she had no relationship to mend, heal or promote -- she just had an open, grateful heart and a place to share. What a gift to me.

I've been spending a lot of time recently working with clients -- and myself -- on discovering strengths. I ask questions like: What do you do best? What do you really like? How can you play to your strengths? Because when you play to your strengths, whatever you do feels...easy. Not at all like work. Even, dare I say, fun?

Can you imagine what life would be like if you played to the inherent strengths you've had your whole life? Since you were in, oh, third grade? How effortless would that be?

So, what parts of your childhood personality remain? Who were you then -- and who are you now? Understanding who you were -- to others, to yourself -- can illuminate and inspire your life today. Turn the light on, and uncover your own, innate, wonderful strengths. Then put those natural strengths to use, and craft a meaningful, purpose-filled... easy life.

Clinging To Money

So, you have two gold coins. They are the only
gold coins you have in the whole wide world, so you
hold them tightly in each fist. Then one day you
actually meet the leprechaun at the end of the
rainbow with his pot of gold.

He says to you, "Dip your hands in and you can keep
as much gold as you can carry." If you dip your
hands in with your fists clenched, holding tightly to
your two gold coins, how much gold can you scoop?
Uh, none.

But if you open your hands, allowing those two gold
coins to possibly slip out, how much gold can you
scoop?

When you open your hands, you can hold so much
more. When you close them tightly, there is no room
for more than what you’ve already got.

I developed this little story to illustrate the “issues”
many people have around money. Most of the time
we cling to what we think money does for our status,
and what we perceive money can do for us. I can’t
tell you how many times a client will say, “I know I’m
not happy in my job, but to do what I truly love I’d
have to take a cut in pay!” Hmmmn. Perhaps. But
doing what you love is, just like the commercial,
priceless. And, remember this: do what you love,
and the money will follow.

I was recently in a meeting when a man declared
that his objective was to make $10,000 a day.
Again, I thought, “Hmmmn.” Will $10,000 a day make
you measurably happier than, say, $9,000 a day?
Would you be even happier at $12,000 a day? Is
there an end in sight, or will you always incrementalize
your happiness – ‘til you get to the point where you
can never make enough to be “happy”?

Can you tell me who’s got their gold coins grasped
tightly in their fists?

I have the most wonderful CPA. His name is Stan
Friedman, and I’ve worked with him for quite some
time. Many years ago, Stan told me that he saw a
direct correlation between how much clients give
away and their income. When he told me that, I was
intrigued and made an effort to look at how I
allocated my money. And Stan was absolutely right.
The more I gave away, the more I got. The happier I
got, the less I felt I needed. And still, more came to
me. It's nutty!

Don't get me wrong. It's better to have a dollar in
your pocket than have none. Having been in both
situations, I can personally testify to that
statement. Being paid what you're worth is affirming,
and having financial integrity is fulfilling.
But, when you give yourself the freedom to be generous,
the world opens up to you. Generosity begets
abundance. Don't take my word for it -- give it a
try.

Clinging tightly to an idea that money = happiness...
limits you. It restricts your access to the
underpinnings of true happiness, which are, simply,
doing what you love and are good at. You can't help
but be rewarded for that, my friends.