Talkin' Bout My G-g-g-generation

Over the summer I got together with my old friend and White House colleague Gerry Koenig -- we had lost touch and happily re-connected via LinkedIn, the professional social networking site. Gerry, once an Army helicopter pilot, now practices aviation law, and keeps his mind agile by reading interesting books.

He told me about a fascinating book, called The Fourth Turning by the late William Strauss and Neil Howe.

When Gerry mentioned that the book, written in 1997, predicted the 9/11 terrorist attacks, I knew I had to read it. And I did. And, I am seeing the nation's current financial crisis through different eyes.

Strauss and Howe, historians, economists and experts on generational issues, looked back through American history and identified not only political cycles but generational cycles. Roughly each 80 years, in 20 year cycles, the country moves through a High period, which gives way to an Awakening, which turns into an Unraveling, and then into a Crisis.

Strauss and Howe identify four distinct generations that have repeated over time: Hero, Artist, Prophet, Nomad. According to their research, a Crisis features the Prophets (Baby-Boomers) entering elderhood; Nomads (my generation) entering midlife; Heros (the Millenials) entering young adulthood; and, those entering childhood -- the new Artist generation.

In other words, the conditions are exactly right exactly now for our country to enter Crisis.

Back in 1997, Strauss and Howe wrote: "Based on recent Unraveling-era trends, the following circa-2005 scenarios might seem plausible...Economic distress, with public debt in default, entitlement trust funds in bankruptcy, mounting poverty and unemployment, trade wars, collapsing financial markets, and hyperinflation (or deflation)." Sound familiar?

How about: "History offers even more sobering warnings: Armed confrontation usually occurs around the climax of Crisis. If there is confrontation, it is likely to lead to war. This could be any kind of war -- class war, sectional war, war against global anarchists or terrorists, or superpower war."

Check.

Before you start quoting lines from Ghostbusters ("a disaster of Biblical proportions! Real wrath of God stuff! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... MASS HYSTERIA!"), let me assure you, the nation has faced Crisis before --and will again -- and we've emerged into a new High. All is not lost.

In the Crisis, America will want change. We will want the stability of a strong government that works. We will favor personal sacrifice. We will want to be more self-sufficient. We will want solutions, not more of the same. We will demand that our leaders reflect these national values.

What does this mean for you? For your career? For your business? For your kids?

Start now. Especially my fellow Nomads. Move towards self-sufficiency -- don't borrow more than you can pay back. Grow your own tomatoes. Wash your own car. Incorporate a dose of self-sacrifice -- trust me, 23 pair of shoes in the closet work with your wardrobe just as successfully as 112. Save five to ten percent of your income. Donate to charities you believe in. Build a business that really serves your best customers. Focus. Teach your children (and yourself) about money, budgets and prudent investing.

"With or without war, American society will be transformed into something different. The emergent society may be something better, a nation that sustains its Framers' visions with a robust new pride. Or it may be something unspeakably worse. The Fourth Turning will be a time of glory or ruin."

And so it is for each of us. A time of glory or ruin. We've had advance notice of what's coming -- what we do about it as a nation, and as individuals, is completely up to us.

Doom & Gloom

Imagine for a moment that you work for Lehman Brothers. One day this week you find out the firm has declared bankruptcy and your job and your retirement fund -- poof! -- gone. Your daughter left last week for her third tour in Iraq. Your son started college two weeks ago, and now your nest is empty. Your wife was just diagnosed with breast cancer. Oh, and you live in Galveston.

Let's hope that doom and gloom scenario I just concocted didn't really happen to anyone. But if you pay attention to the news these days, it seems as if everyone is living that kind of life.

Last night I watched so-called experts shout at each other about our global economic situation. One said, "This is the end of the world as we know it." I thought: Really? You Wall Streeter in your groovy $800 eyeglasses, your bespoke $2000 suit, your trendy haircut delivered by a manicured ego-maniac who is known solely by a two-syllable, vaguely French first name. How exactly is your life going to change? Only going to make $2 million this year? Poor baby.

Another guy said, "This is a lot of ado about nothing. The fundamentals of the economy remain strong and this is merely a minor correction." Guess he doesn't live in Galveston. If he did, he might have a different perspective. He might just be freaking out.

So what's what? If you're freaking out about... oh, everything at the moment, how do you start to get a grip and find a way to cope? Are the pessmists right? Or the optimists? Where's the truth?

Voltaire suggested in his satirical novel Candide that "tending one's own garden" is the antidote to both unbridled optimism and destructive pessimism. So, can you step back in this moment of uncertainty and look at your own plot? Because that's where the truth of your own situation lies.

How's the health of your employer? Your industry? How's your retirement account? Do you have too large a percentage of your assets tied up in your company's stock? Need to shift anything?

How's your personal financial health? Are you making your mortgage payment every month? How are home values in your community? How's your spending? Are you paying your bills? How's your insurance set-up? Enough coverage?

Check the health of your own garden so you can compare the shouting match hysteria with your own reality. If your house is still standing and it still has value; if your employer is sound and your investments are spread out; if you are managing to pay your bills; if you and your loved ones are healthy -- you're going to be fine.

You can stop freaking out.

If, however, you've got stuff going on, tend your own garden, sweetheart, and tune out the hoopla. Work out a refinance on your home, if possible. Arrange payment with your creditors. Take a second job if you need to, while you get your business off the ground. Drive your spouse to chemo. Send a loving email to Iraq. Move in with your best friends while your house is re-built -- hey, it'll be an adventure no one will ever forget!

It seems to me that the only people benefitting from debating the "worst financial situation since the Depression", are the folks who want their Warholian fifteen minutes of fame. These people are not reporters or journalists, who are, by and large, a responsible and ethical crowd. The shouters, in my opinion, fan the flames of frenzy just so they can get more and more opportunities to be famous.

And we don't have to listen to them. All we have to do is tend our own gardens. And remember: this, too, shall pass.

Always You

I have a theory. It's that we are pretty much who we're going to be at an early age. That's not to say that life experiences don't change us, or that we can't undertake change on our own. Stuff happens, our perspectives shift and we change.

But if you're born left-handed, you're probably going to stay left-handed for life.

The Internet is an unparalleled way to reconnect. I got this in my Classmates.com in-box:

"I don't know if you remember me from elementary [school], but I'll never forget you. I remember nervously walking into the school for the first time after I moved there at the beginning of the 3rd grade. Mrs. W (who scared me to death!) was showing me where the classroom was located -- it was early and hardly any kids had arrived yet. You walked up to me from the other end of the hall and struck up a conversation, and made me feel like I wasn't an outsider. I don't know if I ever thanked you, but I always appreciated that. You made my transition to a new school much easier."

I have to tell you, this email rocked me. Families tell stories of our youth, but they usually involve -- in my case -- where I made a complete and total fool of myself by saying or doing something incredibly dopey.

To hear a tale of my past, from an outside, objective observer is like watching a documentary of my life. No spin, no role-playing -- just a glimpse of who I was in third grade. Priceless.

And know what? I don't remember the woman who wrote me (I do remember the evil and wicked Mrs. W, our teacher. Still get the shivers mentioning her name). But a year or so after the incident my correspondent described, my family moved two thousand miles away and I haven't been back to that little town since. So in writing me she had no relationship to mend, heal or promote -- she just had an open, grateful heart and a place to share. What a gift to me.

I've been spending a lot of time recently working with clients -- and myself -- on discovering strengths. I ask questions like: What do you do best? What do you really like? How can you play to your strengths? Because when you play to your strengths, whatever you do feels...easy. Not at all like work. Even, dare I say, fun?

Can you imagine what life would be like if you played to the inherent strengths you've had your whole life? Since you were in, oh, third grade? How effortless would that be?

So, what parts of your childhood personality remain? Who were you then -- and who are you now? Understanding who you were -- to others, to yourself -- can illuminate and inspire your life today. Turn the light on, and uncover your own, innate, wonderful strengths. Then put those natural strengths to use, and craft a meaningful, purpose-filled... easy life.

Neither Seen Nor Heard

After plenty of hard work, Jennifer has been promoted to Vice President of Sales. Now, rather than meeting with clients and delivering results for them, she manages a staff of salespeople.

"The problem is," she tells me, "whenever I have a meeting with my team it's as if I don't even exist. No one listens, people talk over one another and we're starting to miss our projected sales numbers. What's happening? I've always gotten along with these people really well, but it's as if they hate me since I got promoted. What's wrong with me?"

Getting promoted from within can be the best of times, and it can also be the worst of times. It's the best when you know the organization and all the rules -- written and unwritten -- and can use this knowledge to succeed. It's the worst when your former co-workers turn into surly, passed-over subordinates -- and use all their time and attention conspiring to knock you down a peg.

To shift her situation, Jennifer needs to take a hard look at her own leadership style. There are three places for her to focus:

1. Attitude. I've written about the managerial differences between men and women -- to recap, women are prone to "mend and tend" while men are more apt to "fight or flight". Jennifer needs to take a hard look at how she behaves in meetings. Is she so overly collaborative (tending) that she fails to be authoritative? Does she run meetings like an executive, or defer to others in hopes of maintaining a good relationship (mending)? Authentic leadership is a balance of collaboration and authority -- and Jennifer may be a little too heavy on the collaborative side of the scale. To tip the balance more toward center, she can take small steps toward being more decisive, such as setting the time and date for meetings, writing the agenda, and running meetings herself.

2. Verbal cues. Let me tell you this: If the boss doesn't hold onto her own power, you can be sure that someone else (who is certain she should have been promoted to Jennifer's spot) will grab it. Women in particular often use tentative language. Some women end every sentence with a literal or figurative question mark -- which tells the listener that she's not quite sure if she knows what she's talking about. Jennifer can use a small tape recorder or enlist a mentor to figure out her verbal style. Listening to how she frames issues, sets goals and objectives, and deals with squabbling among her staff can be illuminating and empowering. Jennifer can use this information to choose different words -- words that transmit that she's knowledgeable, skilled and at the helm.

3. Body language. Similarly, Jennifer needs to understand her own body language. Is she hunching her shoulders and transmitting submission? Or clasping her hands under the table, which can indicate either that she is a dutiful little girl or has something to hide (and can't be trusted). Leaders sit with attention, hands visible -- and they take up space. Jennifer may need to do a little learning about body language so she can assume the command she's been assigned.

One of the big stumbling blocks for women leaders is giving up the pernicious need to please. They wonder, "If I'm a straightforward leader, and claim my authority, will people still like me?" To be honest, some women worry about this whether they're a Vice President of Sales, or organizing a neighborhood coffee klatsch.

The bottom line is this: how long are you going to please others at the expense of your own authentic self? Jennifer earned her promotion. She feels a great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment in her work. And she might be letting her need for the approval of others to hold her back from being her best possible self and completely owning her power.

When it comes down to it, women leaders -- whether they're leading a company or a group of teen volunteers or just leading themselves through their own personal growth -- need to put their best possible self front and center. They need to own their power, however it comes to them, and exercise it authentically. When they do, they operate from a sense of inner peace, honesty and integrity. And the support and respect of others follows along quite naturally.

[Just a note to my guy readers: switch out all the girly references with dude stuff and you'll find it's equally true. Being an authentic person who exercises appropriate authority when it's called for -- that's how you lead effectively.]