Centered Enthusiasm

I have a feeling. The baby buds of a feeling, if you want me to share the specifics. It's an itty-bitty hint. A twinkling inkling.

Know what it is? I feel like a corner has been turned.

I feel like things are getting better.

Maybe it's spring that's doing it. There's that moment in winter -- some bitter Tuesday in February -- when all the trees are bare and look dead, but you know within each dormant tree are all the hopeful buds of spring. All those potential leaves and blooms and fruits are inside that tree, just waiting for the right moment to unfurl.

And that's what today feels like to me. The world is unfurling.

I am going to hold on to that feeling and let it take me past the anxiety, past the worry and past the relentless drumbeat of bad news.

Last Friday's free class on dealing with anxiety around the roller coaster economy, vanishing jobs and the uncertain world touched on this subject. If you'd like to listen to the recording of the session, go to www.lifeframeworks.com and click the play button just below my photo.

In the call, I cover 10 Things You Can Do Right Now To Stop Freaking Out. Catchy, huh? Number 8 "Be with positive people" prompted a couple of questions -- how do you deal with negative or toxic people?

First, you have to identify the negative people in your life. They may be so close to you that you're not even aware of their negativity -- because they're your husband, your wife, your mom, your best friend. Who's negative? If you walk away from an interchange with them and you feel depleted, discouraged and generally down -- they're likely negative. If you mention something positive and they immediately turn it toward the dark side -- they're likely negative. If they use a lot of words like "can't", "won't" and "shouldn't" -- negative.

Once you know who the negative people are, you can do the second thing. Which is: limit your exposure to them. "My husband? Limit my exposure to him? Exactly how?" you ask. I like the technique I learned when my kids were in the Terrible Twos -- simply say, "Gosh, sounds like you're really upset and need some time to get a handle on things. I'm going to go into the next room, and when you're ready to talk calmly, come get me." Then you smile and give a virtual pat on the head and go fold laundry.

Negativity usually stems from fears. And some of those fears are real, and some are imagined. For instance, were I to stand face to face with a bear my heart rate would climb, my mind would race, I'd sweat buckets, I would panic, I might even whimper a teeny-tiny bit. Those would all be normal reactions to facing a bear. However, I can have pretty much the same physical reactions by simply imagining that I'm standing in front of a bear. Ain't no bear in the neighborhood, but I'm behaving as if there is one. Why do that?

Some people imagine a charging bear because they like the adrenaline rush. Some people imagine something terrible because it reinforces the negative view they have of the world. And some people imagine the worst because it gives them something to focus on.

I'll tell you one thing: when you focus on the negative, you generally find it. And if you're surrounded on every side by negativity, all you'll see is the bad. You'll never see the happy buds of spring, you'll just see dead, lifeless trees.

Dadgummit, I am going to see the buds. I'm going to be happy. Because I feel happy. Not wishful, magical-thinking happy, but what I call "centered enthusiasm" -- I know what's going on in my world, and I'm still eager, enthusiastic and positive. Feels really right.

Why don't you try centered enthusiasm this week, and see if it doesn't shift your mood from negative to positive, from dark to light, from dormant to joyful blossoming blooms?

Go ahead -- allow the unfurling to begin.

We're All In This Together

Double bubble, toil and trouble. Anger, maybe even rage, disbelief, uncertainty, anxiety -- there's a potent brew boiling around our country today, and I want to understand it.

From what I've gathered, the question is: If you run a multi-billion dollar company into the ground, and threaten the financial well-being of the entire global community, should you be given multi-million dollar bonuses?

Or, maybe the question is: Why should people who live within their means have to foot the bill for people who spent money they didn't have on stuff they didn't need?

Or could be the question really be: Are we all in this together, or what?

Back in 2004, I had the opportunity to organize President Reagan's State Funeral. As the funeral procession snaked its way from the hilltop National Cathedral through the city to Andrews Air Force Base, I saw people of all colors and stripes thronging the streets. Hands over hearts, paying respects -- didn't matter if they wore a pin-striped suit up in Northwest DC, or cutoffs and tube tops down in Southeast -- people turned out that summer day to honor a man some of them never even agreed with.

I distinctly remember thinking: people wanted to belong to something.

We had felt it before, on September 12, 2001. Remember that day? After the immediate shock and horror and loss, people were really nice to one another. We made eye contact. We held doors open. We talked with strangers. We even let people go in front of us in traffic. We were experiencing something big, and scary, and unexpected -- but we were experiencing it together.

For a period of time our country really was a kinder, gentler place.

My seventh grade daughter is studying World War II in social studies. She asked, "What was the war like for our family?" I told her about all my uncles that served, and how five of her great-grandmother's brothers had served at the same time. I told her about Gold Star Mothers. I told her how people saved bacon grease and salvaged scrap metal to help the war effort. I told her about rationing and about Rosie the Riveter.

I told her how everyone worked together, united in common purpose to make it through a very difficult time.

How to describe the feeling when the light bulb goes off? Pop! - it hit me: the problem today is that some of us are sacrificing -- we've made cuts in our spending, we're living below our means, we're responsible with our lives -- and some are not. The bonus-paying bankrupt companies and the bonus-receiving misguided executives? The foreclosure flippers? Doesn't appear that they are sacrificing, or are making plans any time soon to change their frame of reference.

It's a scary time and we're simply not in this together. And that bothers us.

Because when times are tough, the American people want to belong to something bigger than themselves, like the war effort in World War II. We want our sacrifices to be worth something. We want to share the uncertainty and worry. We want to save bacon grease and send it where it can best be used. We will use ration cards.

But we want rationing to be fair. And we want to save our bacon grease for a purpose, not just to serve some public relations ploy designed by politicians and spinmeisters.

Let me tell you, the politician who taps into this national zeitgeist will find himself, or herself, riding the crest of a new wave of American political life.

But until that Mayor or Senator or Governor or Congressman wakes up and sees that business-as-usual is no longer the way business is being done; until that politician realizes that greed is no longer the driver of anything worth having; until that politican understands that the American people are smarter and more resilient than they're given credit for -- there's only one thing for you and me to do.

We'll do it ourselves. We will lead our leaders. We'll say no to pork-barrel spending and yes to spending that creates jobs and opportunities, or helps the most vulnerable among us. We will create our own sense of purpose and involve our community, by simple things like having potluck suppers with the neighbors, or cleaning up a local creek, or working in a community kitchen, or donating to micro-finance efforts to help people start businesses.

If belonging is what we want, belonging is what we will create. We'll be in this together. And when we step up and show the way, believe me, our leaders will just have one choice to make: follow, or get out of the way.

That's what I understand. How about you?

Survey Says!

Thanks to everyone who responded to my survey in the last couple of weeks. If you haven't had the chance yet, and would like to give me your two cents -- Michele Woodward's Survey.

The results so far have been extremely helpful. I have a good sense of what you like, and what you'd like more of. And I'm going to give it to you.

First, you want more free stuff.

To that end, I'm going to start offering a free class every month via conference call. The first one will be on managing your anxiety around the economy, your job, and the future. I think I will call it "Yikes! What's Going On With the Economy!"(working title, natch) Scheduled for noon (eastern) Friday, March 27th, you can access the call by dialing 712/941-0216 and enter PIN 987411.

I'll explain some ideas, teach some practical coping tools, then we'll have time for you to ask me any question you've got on your mind.

Think it's going to be great.

Second, you want some lower cost stuff.

To that end, I'll throw this out there. I love doing small group coaching. Love, love, love it. So if you have a group of people who are all facing the same kinds of issues -- going back to work, starting a business, looking for a job, facing an empty nest, reinventing lives -- think about forming a coaching group. I will facilitate, teach, lead, design the program, and be the coach to everyone. It's a cost-effective way to get moving forward, with the added benefit of moving forward with supportive, like-minded people.

If you build it, I will come.

In the next six weeks, I'm going to a trade association, a law firm, a women's group, a mom's group at a church, and maybe to a hedge fund company, to give presentations and classes. Several survey respondents said they wished I had more in-person classes they could attend.

I'd love that, too.

Problem is -- space. So, if you have space and would like to host a series of classes, let me know. I'd love to offer this kind of service.

And, speaking of service, in response to several of you, I'm offering a special package to help you prepare for job interviews or performance reviews. Quick, focused, to-the-point coaching sessions and you'll walk into the meeting prepared for success. If you're at the place where you want to have an edge that puts you over the top, this package may just be the thing for you. Call me.

I'm going to continue to offer book recommendations, because everyone seems to enjoy those. Even me! And you gave me some great insight into other blog topics you want to see. Know what the most popular topic is? Getting clear on priorities. I promise we'll do work on that in the months to come.

One great suggestion that I'd also like to implement -- you know I love connecting people to other people, to things or to ideas that help them solve their problems. So how about this nifty idea? If you have a product or a service that might be useful or interesting to other readers, let me know. I'm going to make that a new feature in upcoming newsletters.

So, lots of great changes as a result of your thoughtful input. I really appreciate the time you took and the generosity of spirit you each showed. Thanks to you, I can do more of what I'm good at -- on terms that mean more to you.

Can't get much better than that.

Make A Referral Week

I am an unabashed, unapologetic proponent of small businesses. And I'm afraid that amid the hullabaloo about stimulus packages and corporate bailouts, insufficient attention has been paid to the real engine of our global economy -- small businesses.

Until John Jantsch. Yep, John. The dude who started Duct Tape Marketing. John has declared March 9 -13, 2009 as Make A Referral Week. John's goal: to generate 1000 referrals to small business during the week -- thereby creating a bunch of money for a bunch of people. A grassroots wave of generosity. A tsunami of stimulus.

Hell yes, I'm participating. I just love this idea. It's something I can do at a time when there doesn't feel like much I can do. And I'll bet that between you and me and all my other readers, we can generate 1000 referrals all by ourselves. Won't you join me by making a pledge to refer one person to another person this week? It's equally as valuable to ask for a referral during the week, too, so if you need something all you have to do is ask. I, for one, am happy to oblige.

How often have you said, "I just don't have enough time to..."? Or, "there just aren't enough hours in the day"? You've got a lot to do, I've got a lot to do, Aunt Tilly has a lot to do. Add in the grim financial realities many of us face, and not only is there not enough time -- but there's not enough money.

Let me expose you to a bit of counter-intuitive thinking. When you lack time or money to get stuff done, what's the best thing you can possibly do? No, you can't squeeze three more hours out of the day. Nice try.

No, when you don't have enough time or money, the thing to do is to delegate. To outsource the thing that takes up your time and attention so you can free up the time to focus on making money.

Sure, this is clear if you're a business owner -- I get someone to take care of my taxes, for instance, so I can use that time to sell more services. But it's just as true that salaried people need to delegate. When you delegate, you make the space to focus on your priorities. And when you make progress on your priorities (and do what your boss thinks is important), you'll perform at the top of your game, leading to raises, bonuses and promotions.

And the best part of delegating is getting great help -- finding someone experienced and trustworthy and talented -- to take some of your load off. That's the point of asking for a referral, by the way.

Little niggling voice: "But I should do it all myself. I'm going to look weak if I delegate. People like me don't hire people to do work we can do ourselves." Go ahead. Hold onto that mindset. And continue to lack enough time or enough money. Your choice.

When it's humming on all cylinders, the referral game goes both ways. I benefit when someone refers me work, and I benefit when I refer work to others. How? I have to tell you, when I give a recommendation to someone -- "here, hire this person. You won't be sorry" -- there's no feeling like it in the world. It sparks a recognition in me that I live in a great, generous place where good things happen for me, and I help good things happen for others. Goes a long way toward zapping those nasty Recession Blues.

Yep, I thoroughly love making referrals and I'm going to be making gobs of them this week. Got some time? I think I'm going to be referring you.

The Absence Of Perfect - Part 2

Back in 2007, I wrote about what to do in the Absence Of Perfect. What do you do when the perfect solution you have in mind is just not gonna happen?

You can hold on to your idea of "perfect" or, as I suggest, you can ask yourself, "what's my best option right now?"

There's so much uncertainty in life these days, and just like you I'm feeling it. In my perfect world, everyone who wanted a job would have a good one. We'd all make our mortgage payments and guys like Bernie Madoff would be responsible stewards of other people's money.

Yep, in my perfect world, you and I wouldn't worry about paying for food, or juggling bills, or managing prescriptions, or getting shingles replaced on the roof because there would always be enough of everything for everyone.

A Michele-ian utopia.

But right now perfect is not happening.

So what's our best option? Well, we could wallow, which is an oft-chosen yet quite unproductive option, or we could do something. I, as you regular readers can imagine, am taking the "do something" approach:

1. Honoring my priorities -- which means mortgage, mortgage, mortgage. It's my intention to pay it first, and attend to other obligations from there. Prioritizing my mortgage means that I am also watching refinancing opportunities like a hawk, and will jump just as soon as I possibly can. This works for me as I plan to stay in my house indefinitely. Well, at least until my kids can get in-state tuition at one of the great universities in Virginia. Or until the Redskins win another Super Bowl. Didn't I say "indefinitely"?

2. Take on no new debt -- which means no big spending. I'd been considering post-graduate studies, and that is now officially on hold. Here's my rule of thumb: If I can pay for it fully in cash, or pay it off in three months, I will do it. If not, I'm shoving it to the back burner.

3. Pay down my debt -- which may mean that I don't have as much cash on hand as the so-called experts suggest but when I have less debt, I will have more cash flow, allowing me to build up my cash reserves quickly. Feels right to me.

4. Doing what I can to increase my income -- which means I've developed some great new programs. I have The Results Club for job seekers with my colleague Christina Brandt -- a phenomenally gifted Master Coach -- and we're working together on a useful e-book called Finding a Job 2.0. I'm also working with Pam Slim, an insightful and humorous writer and Master Coach, to launch Kick-Ass Mentoring this week, which will help coaches move from stuck to success. Both of these programs are so good that I get goose bumps. All these efforts will (cross your fingers) bring in revenue and more easily help me attend to numbers 1-3 above.

Oh, I hear you. You government employees, corporate citizens, teachers and other blokes who have steady employment -- "How can I make more money? I'm on a salary." Yes, you are. And you can be like the happy young teacher I met the other day, who is working as a waitress on the weekends, AND creating memorable art-themed birthday parties for kids in her spare time around classes. Quite the go-getter.

The question for you may be, How can you go get? What can you do? I'm telling you -- I feel good that I'm doing something. I have a plan. I have priorities. Which is my best option, given that so much is beyond my control.

If you're freaked out about what's happening now -- if your reality of layoffs and tight budgets doesn't meet your idea of perfection -- then take a little step back and ask yourself, "OK, what's my best option here?" What can you do?